Pitfalls of dating a married man
It can be daunting for the midlife dater to find herself back in the unpredictable world of romance.
You are going to feel at best reluctant and at worst terrified.
He uses words like "dope." Actually, this is sort of cute.10. Every time you're walking, he grabs your hand and sprints to cross at the street the next light before it turns red.
Dragging you behind him like you are a horse on its way to the glue factory.12. Theory: People start enjoying morning sex only when they get to the age where the morning is the only time they're not stressed out or exhausted, therefore the ~*~*s Ex Ie St~*~*. Which then leads to him poking his boner into your back at moments when you are least interested.
Doesn’t sound so good for an intimate relationship. And women have changed, becoming more vocal about who they are and what they are not willing to put up with. Do want a compliant Barbie doll or a real and strong woman?
Let’s examine the Cons of going out with a strong woman?
Why don’t we first examine some core elements of being a “strong woman:”As I look over this list, it seems to me that these qualities are gender neutral. She is seen as, “independent, self-reliant, not needing a man, strong-willed, and a motherly or matronly take charge person who tells people what to do and takes no nonsense.” Bottom line, this is someone to be feared. Brings up mommy issues, feelings of dependency and individuation challenges. In other words, she will have a mind of her own and I may have to justify myself (ideas, beliefs, desires) and she will not go along with me just because I think she should.
Deep stuff but we will leave that for another time.◊♦◊How often have you heard someone say, “Hey, Bob, I want to introduce you to this ‘strong woman’? Most guys are probably backing up big time at this question. Gasp, you mean she is an independent life form with a mind of her own?
ADOPT A CAREFREE ATTITUDE Dating success depends on cultivating a carefree attitude that is jolly with a touch of glamour. It’s early days after all and you want to excite his imagination not bore him to death.Sorry, I want to smash my face directly into my fresh rosemary pasta without discussing the recurring motifs of Francis Ford Coppola films. He can eat whatever and expects you to also be able to eat whatever.Like when you're walking home drunk and he's like "Hey, we should eat something, lets stop at this place that's famous for their sour-cream-and-chili-covered hot dogs wrapped in bacon!!The concept of a “strong” woman goes against a lot of our cultural programming. ◊♦◊Sometimes I think men would like their women to be like obedient dogs. Hard to believe, I know, but I talk to them in therapy every day.For example, if someone said to me, “Hey Steve I’d like to introduce you to this really caring, sweet, loving soul,” – oh, that sounds good. When someone talks about a strong woman, it sounds good for helping lift furniture or running a company. When these men discover that they cannot control women, they think that marrying, for example, a South Asian woman will do the trick (boy are they in for a big surprise), you know, someone who is totally in alignment with your will, reads your mind and cooks your meals on time and just like Mom did. They are like people who complain about immigration, not willing to deal with change in a constructive manner.