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There were apparently rags in the 1950s that would out actors if the studios did not cough up enough money for them not to. Who, when told "play along or don't play", told the studio to shove it and became the most sought after interior decorated in Hollywood/Beverly Hills. I knew an old actor who did a USO tour with Raymond Burr - traveled together with the troupe. Burr hissed, "Don't say a word, don't say a word," and resumed sucking.
Men who are cheating will try anything to avoid taking responsibility for their wrong behavior, and re-writing history and blaming others is one of the best ways to do that.
Being badass isn't the problem as much as making the character more well-rounded.
Note that gay romance a gay/bi identity is enough for this trope—it doesn't have to be both.
The wife of a cheating man recently asked me to help her understand why do men cheat in more depth.
I've answered her 'how' questions in the previous post, How Do Men Cheat. Here's part of her original request: Since denial is one of the coping mechanisms that cheating men use to mentally make it okay to cheat, rewriting history and blaming their partners shouldn’t come as much of a surprise.