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After swearing off men altogether for a good six months (followed by plenty of awkward dates and a growing belief I would be alone forever), I stopped searching. It wasn’t love at first sight, and I didn’t immediately start planning our wedding. That, I realized, is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship.

In fact, I was convinced date number three would be the ending point, but I was wrong. It felt like sweat pants, messy hair and a dependable excitement every time we saw each other. Everything moved with ease, and conversations were never followed by a lengthy session, in which I had to decipher the meaning behind every word and inflection in his voice. As a reformed drama-addict, remember this next time you think real love feels exactly like emotional pain: There’s a certain amount of self-protection involved in dating.

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He started fucking her slowly at first while her maons filled the room and made it much hotter.

Unfortunately (or fortunately), a death grip on the status quo can’t keep a relationship that’s intended to crumble stay intact.

So, this period of my life came to an end with a heartless text and the gnawing feeling that maybe I just didn’t fight hard enough to make it work.

The reasons for staying far outweighed the reasons to keep looking. In order to keep our egos intact and to avoid rejection, we hold our cards closely to our chests, and wait for the other people to reveal theirs first. But doing things to intentionally seem aloof or spark someone’s jealousy is not the way to test someone’s level of attachment for you.

If the person you’re dating can’t simply use his words, you’re likely in for an emotional roller coaster of relationship game playing. After enduring several lengthy conversations (around year seven of my previous relationship) about getting married and his lack of enthusiasm at the prospect, I vowed to never again beg someone to make a commitment to me. Real love is about people who are of spending their lives with each other.

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